Thursday, February 01, 2007
today school resume already...
the ADAM KHOO's course have came to an end,
i really have been motivated alot in this course,
now i have my mission in my mind, the point of studying, the goals to live on in my life...
but i have fell sick today, but actually i have small sickness for few days already,
but i decide to hack care, never know i will fall sick, haiz...
than today i did not go to band, i know they need me, but i am sick, tired.
i really donnoe how already, seriously!
my sectional, why?
why izzit always my section?
before i step down, i have total control of the section, my methods work out well to pull them up,
but since i came back for sec5,
they did not put me in the eye, no basic manners, and the reason for me to go band is not to help,
but to play for my section,
why? how come? why the other section don't need their sec 5to be so tired?
is it my fault? or izzit the section unwilling to motivate themselves and play?
i really don't know...

i am not afraid to declare to the band,
i have truly lost intrest in band, and its true...
since holiday, or can say since after my N level, i went back to band once,
things that made me lost the intrest...
1) the batch of ppl with me, have left...
2) my section have fall deeply...
3) i worried for my results...
4) remember of 2005 syf...
5) i do not have the feeling i have in playing my horn...
all these are the reason why i have lost my intrest in band...
i kept on asking some qns, i have truly lost alot of friends, getting further and further away frm my family in bonding...
why other cca only need 1 single day, why we need 3 days a week?
further more i am in sec5 dis year, i need to truly consentrate on my studies...
i really cannot take anymore stress on the syf.
my friends want to go out with me, but i always give up and go to band.
but what reard do i get?
scolding? nagging? looked down by others?

i am really sick and tired!
now the main purporse to go band is to sustain an A1 in cca...
but if i do not have the A1, i will sure curse everyone sia!
sec 5 should have a choice to enter syf or not,
but i am been force, why is me?
i do not like that! WHY!!!!!
TELL ME! WHY IZZIT ME? I AM REALLY, TRULY TIRED! STOP FORCING ME!!!!
i am tired.
i donnoe whih band member i can open my mouth to?
they have into syf mindset already...
i wonder why the rest they like to go band?
every year my section parts went harder and harder!
i don want to stretch so much can?
OF COURSE NOT!!!
COURSE I DON HAVE A CHOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!

please, if u happen to read this, stop forcing me!
i am sick and tired already!!!
argh!!!!!!!!
if i do not go band! trust me! leave me!!!!
don't put me in syf nor in band...

aHbOeiiShEnG
bLaStInG tO sLeEp...
wooSH!~!!!

Deep Within
After silence that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
--Aldous Huxley

Kevin Keane
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Kevin Chua Wei Sheng
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